


Biography of the skin

by OnlyTeenageWasteland



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Damian Wayne Feels, Past Child Abuse, References to Depression, Scars, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Spirits, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-01
Updated: 2018-01-01
Packaged: 2019-02-26 11:31:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13234800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnlyTeenageWasteland/pseuds/OnlyTeenageWasteland
Summary: "It's never too late Damian, it's never too late to start a new chapter with new stories"





	Biography of the skin

**Author's Note:**

> I made this fanfic in my first language and I traduce it to english. So I hope you enjoy it and find few misspellings

If you have a heroe's lifestyle, scars are something you will not be able to avoid

Thieves, explosions, and even extraterrestrial attacks are the first thing in your day to day and many of those days are marked with a memory on your skin, a scar

For Damian, the scars were always a part of him. Since he had memory, his body was always scarred. It was no wonder, the league trained him to kill at the age of 3, but that didn't mean he didn't wanted to see at some point his body free of marks, be his skin like a blank canvas or a new paper. But for a long time they imposed those words of skin to him, words that in their language don't express sounds but memories

 Sometimes he observe his brothers, to see if their scars were as aggressive as his

 Dick had common scars: slashes in the chest and bullets near the chest and extremities

 Jason's reminded a lot of him: deadly wounds all over his body and very deep cuts. He must admit that the Joker made a big number in him

And Tim's were quite disguised, he knew that he had a tendency to use make up on them but you can notice the deep and long scars of his back

No matter how much he wanted to compare himself to his brothers, none could similate Damian's scars. The scars of his brothers tell stories of heroism; Damian's scars only tell stories of abuse and hate. His body was broken, it was corrupt and imperfect

He hated mirrors. Every time he stood naked in front of his large mirror, he could only observe the reflection of his failure

Why this scar didn't help save a life?

Why did it have to be made by my own mother because I wanted to give her a rose?

Why this other scar was not made by fighting honestly in a great battle?

 Why did it have to be by my own grandfather as a punishment for not reaching the expected standard?

 Why cant I just ... have a change of skin and start over?

Very late in the night, even when his father and his brothers slept or stayed late patrolling, he hid in the bathroom and burst into tears. He liked that the water in the shower washed his face and thus not feel the weakness that action gave him. He hated to see how the water didn't slip easily through his skin due to the scars. He hated it,  he hated his body so much, himself and his past 

He needed to do something for himself, all those scars were bad, maybe, if he made new scars, the old ones would lose value

That's when it started for the first time. His little addiction A single knife and dozens of new scars. But no matter how many times he cut his skin, he never felt better.

Now he felt worse, he felt empty.

 Those scars that were inflicted, they were empty scars, they did not tell a story, they did not keep a memory, they were just the product of his great dislike towards himself

By now he had lost all respect for his body. They say that the body is a temple, but for Damian, his body was an abandoned place in ruins whose pieces were impossible to join

 At some point he stopped eating like before, he went outside less and used more clothes.

 As usual his family didn't seem to mind, everyone was always worried about other things

So one day he decided he could not do it anymore. He could not pretend anymore, He could not cry anymore, He could not... Live more

 Maybe those last scars will mean something. Maybe, he will not be able to live to see them but surely others will see that story, his last story. It was not one of heroism or worthy of telling, but those are going to be his last words in the last chapter of his biography of skin

So he went to the bathroom and took the knife that had been his only friend for a long time. With comfortable clothes he settled in his bath tub and filled it to a considerable amount. He took a deep breath and sat up in the water and with trembling hands watched his lethal friend

"So here we come, the final chapter"

With those last words he took the knife firlmy and began to make the deepest cuts he had ever made in his arms. He let his arms fall and felt the pain gradually numbing. Maybe with death he can finally find the freedom he've always longed for... maybe...

...

_"Who are you?"_  

_"Hello Damian, you don't know me but I do know you"_

_"... Why I feel like I've seen you before? You look like... no, that can not be"_  

_"My name is Marta, maybe you have seen me in pictures but I am your grandmother"_  

_"But that's impossible, you're dead"_

_"That's true"_

_"... that means I'm dead too?"_

  _"Maybe, unless you don't want to be of course"_

_"It's too late..."_

_"It is never too late"_  

_"Why are you here?"_

_"I? I am always close to take care of my son, your father, but it seems that I have forgotten someone as important, you"_

_"Tt, nobody cares about me, I'm just a nuisance that has not done anything good in his life, just have misfortunes. My body is witness to that"_

_"Your body is beautiful"_

_"IT'S NOT! Don't say that! I died to be free and apparently not even that worked!"_

_"Damian, death will not free you, it will only stagnant you, If you die now, how do you plan to start again?"_

_"I can't! I'm nothing! My actions are not worthy... My body is not worthy"_

_"Is that what you think? Don't you hear it?"_

_"Hear what?"_

_"The voices"_

_"Voices?-"_

They can be listen. Voices, that came from the distance:

"Does he have a pulse?!" 

"Call an ambulance!"

"They will not arrive on time!"

"Dick stop crying and do something!"

"Alfred!"

But suddenly he heard an even lighter voice

"Everything will be fine, everything is fine, I'm here, forgive me, I'm here, please don't leave me, don't leave me ..."

_"That is Bruce, my boy. He has grown so much ... He is now a man and a father. When one is a parent one sacrifices everything for them, even life. See this scar? In my chest? That is my only scar, thanks to it my son lives"_

_"But your scar is a good one, it's one of heroism"_

_"There are no good or bad scars, Damian. It's just the way you interpret them"_

_"But how can the marks of my body be interpreted in a good way?"_

_"..."_

_"Why do you smile?"_

_"Because you will learn that when you return with your family"_

_"But it's too late"_

_"It's never too late Damian, it's never too late to start a new chapter with new stories"_  

... 

"Awoke! master Bruce! Come!"

"Bring the nurse!"

"Damian?!"

"Leave me alone with him please"

Alfred seemed not to have slept in a long time, his brothers looked very worried and specially Dick seemed that he had not stopped crying. How long was he dead? Had he really died?

His father's voice distracted him from his thoughts and when he looked at him, he could really see how bad he looked. Had he really done this to his father?

Which was to be his last story was not one of heroism or pain, it was a worse one, it was one of selfishness

"Why?... I just want to know why? Since when did you feel this way? Why you didn't say anything? We could have helped you! If Dick hadn't come to your room ... If he didn't opened the bathroom... I don't want to lose... I... No...

"I'm Sorry father... I'm sorry"

"I just want to know why-"

"My past weighs me down and my body is a constant reminder, I hate it, I hate every part of my body because every scar is a memory of what I'm not, a hero, a good human being"

"Damian, you, like everyone else, are a universe, and these scars on your skin are your stars and constellations, each one of them form important points in your life, good or bad, it's just the way you interpret them"

"The way you interpret them..."

"Sorry?"

"no, is that... You sound like your mother, my grandmother..."

"... What are you talking about, Damian?"

"Is that... I don't know if I was dead or not but I saw her, father, I saw my grandmother, your mother Marta. She told me that it was all about how I  interpreted my marks and that it was never too late to start another chapter... But I don't think that is possible, my body is very damaged, too broken"

Bruce was speechless, how he couldn't have seen his son's suffering sooner; Was he really a good father? His mother would heve been proud of him? He always thought that somehow she took care of him but seeing how far his life has come, the only thing she could feel is dissapointment-

"She watches over you father, but she said she forgot to watch over me" Damian interrupted his thoughts 

"Then now we have the same guardian angel, son"

The moment of father and son was interrupted by a small sob at the door

"Dick?"

"I'm sorry... I ...I could not help but listen in. Oh, Damian..."

Bruce stepped aside to let his older son pass

"I'll leave you alone for a moment" 

Dick took Damian's hands and looked at the bandages that covered the wounds that could have ended his life

"They are horrible, they make me look like a monster, a defect"

"No damian! Don't you see?" Each one lives a different story, each one carries with them their own book of life.Our body is only the cover of this book, what we are inside defines us, what we show from the outside make us stronger. Most of these scars may have been from pain and suffering but they are part of you, part of how you have become who you are, little D. You are wonderful, and it hurts me so much that you can't see it. If you watch closely, there are small scars that saved many lives You see this in your leg? Remember how you caught a bullet for me? And what about this one close to your chest? You were willing to sacrifice yourself for your father at the hands of a sword. They are small, but their value makes them big, each one of us carries a story in our skin, and often we don't  like what that story tells but there will always be room for good memories to form, you just have to be willing to accept your shortcomings and your virtues and live with it." 

Dick took Damian and embrace him into his chest. A few moments later, more pairs of arms felt in Damian's body

"Hey, don't ever do that again, ok? remember that we love you and that you can count on us, we would never judge you for anything" Jason said in a choked voice

"I know that our relationship has had its good and bad moments but I want you to know that you are perfect just the way you are and we are all going to help you see it," said Tim

When it seemed to be the longest embrace in the world, at the door Bruce and Alfred interrupted the brothers

"Master Damian, I'm glad to see that you are okay, I made you company all night and I also took care of the batcow, Titus the dog, Goliath, Alfred the cat...-"

"Alfred?" Interrupted Bruce 

"I ..." The butler almost lost his composure but in a few seconds he reincorporated and returned to speak firmly

"I'm afraid Master Damian has had some very stressful hours and needs to rest, he's still very weak and this way he will not heal quickly"

The brothers knew better than to argue with Alfred so they said goodbye to his brother and left the room.

Only Damian remained with his thoughts

What a fool he had been. The only thing he wanted was to be free of his past, but at wanting to eliminate the base of his present, the only thing he did was to hurt his family.

He saw again his scarred body and thought of the words of his father, his brother... Of his grandmother

"My body is my temple and from it the pieces I must unite to be able to open new doors"

Then he touched his bandages.

"These scars represent my weaknesses that are also my virtues since I learn from them and make me stronger" 

He didn't know what the future awaited for him or what would happen in the present but now he knows that his past doesn't define him but that he has control over how his marks express themselves in his life and before the world

Only he can ignite the light of his temple and put away the darkness

Since without his scars, his skin would not tell his story and his history should be seen. Because every accident on the roads of his skin are only the defeated obstacles that led him to become a wiser being every day

As beyond the suffered,

Beyond the uncertain and lived,

His scars are only part of a map that leads to the root of his being: 

His heart.

 


End file.
